The introduction

How do you write the opening paragraph of your essay? There is no second chance at a first impression, and so the introduction of your essay serves an important role in establishing the strength of your Extended Essay. 

Together with your supervisor or candidate, read the three introductions provided below. What elements do they have in common? How do they follow a similar patter?

Bryson DeChambeau has changed the way people are thinking about the golf swing. His unconventional approach of cutting each club to the length of a six iron and swinging on one plane has been very successful for him on the PGA Tour. This has people wondering whether this method can be successful for any and every golfer. Could DeChambeau be revolutionizing golf like Dick Fosbury revolutionized high jumping? This study asks: ‘To what degree are single-length irons (SLIs) effective for both high- and low-handicap golfers?’ In order to answer this question, 20 golfers with handicaps ranging from 4.5 to 34 were asked to hit 10 balls with each SLI and each variable length iron (VLI) from a pitching wedge to a 4 iron. Their results were recorded using a TrackMan launch monitor and a comparison of ball flights were made. Furthermore video recordings documented the kinds of physical adjustments that golfers made progressively during their sessions with the SLIs. The hypothesis was that SLIs would help high-handicap golfers with accuracy and distance, while low-handicap would remain as accurate but lose distance. In fact the research shows that both high- and low-handicap golfers made incremental improvements with SLIS in terms of accuracy and distance. In other words, Bryson DeChambeau is on to something.

Through globalization and increasing immigration, people from different cultures have had to learn how to live together. In order to help people navigate and understand such cultural clashes, some authors have written literary works that depict characters, struggling to assimilate, integrate and adapt. A Passage to India by E.M. Forster, The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai and Brick Lane by Monica Ali explore cultural conflict through their depiction of characters and their relationships. An analysis of these works helps answer the research question: How do the authors of Brick Lane, The Inheritance of Loss and A Passage to India comment on cultural conflict by depicting character in romantic relationships, friendships and family relationships? As this study of the novels and their characters will show, E.M. Forster, Kiran Desai and Monica Ali suggest that cultural conflicts are best overcome through broader definitions of identity, mutual respect for differences and more sharing of power in multicultural settings.

The canteen at our school was built in 1986 and designed for 800 students to eat their lunch within a 2-hour period. Today, our school consists of more than 1000 students and 100 staff members who must each their lunch within a 1.5-hour period. Many people complain about the disorderly space, long queues and inefficient methods of serving food. This situation has instigated the research question: ‘How can the canteen at our school be redesigned to efficiently and effectively accommodate for current demands?’ Several methods were applied to answer this question. Interviews were conducted with canteen workers, students and school leaders. GoPro video cameras were attached to visitors of the canteen to monitor and understand their ‘user journey’. Further, several studies on space management were consulted and applied, including the 6 Sigma Theory. The results of this research are very concrete and can be used by the school to improve its use of space and time. In brief, it will be shown that moving the fruit bar, introducing automated signs and managing a tighter timetable would contribute to a more effective and efficient canteen that can accommodate for current demands.

Annotated introduction

What elements do the three introductions have in common? Here are 3 slides that annotate the second introduction on English A. Where do you see similar elements in the first and third introductions on SEHS and Design Technology?


Thesis statements

The Extended Essay is a 'reasoned argument' (Criterion C). In the English-speaking world, there is a essay-writing tradition of stating your main claim at the end of the introduction. This is called a 'thesis statement'. Notice how the thesis statements from the 3 introductions below, do the following three things:

  • answer the research question,
  • outline the scope of the essay,
  • make a claim or argument.
Research questions Thesis statements
‘To what degree are single-length irons (SLIs) effective for both high- and low-handicap golfers?’ n fact the research shows that both high- and low-handicap golfers made incremental improvements with SLIS in terms of accuracy and distance. In other words, Bryson DeChambeau is on to something.
How do the authors of Brick Lane, The Inheritance of Loss and A Passage to India comment on cultural conflict by depicting characters in romantic relationships, friendships and family relationships? As this study of the novels and their characters will show, E.M. Forster, Kiran Desai and Monica Ali suggest that cultural conflicts are best overcome through broader definitions of identity, mutual respect for differences and more sharing of power in multicultural settings.
'How can the canteen at our school be redesigned to efficiently and effectively accommodate for current demands?’ It will be shown that moving the fruit bar, introducing automated signs and managing a tighter timetable would contribute to a more effective and efficient canteen that can accommodate for current demands.
Assessment

Write your introduction before writing your essay. Then write your essay. Then re-write your introduction. Some students prefer to write their introduction last, which is also acceptable. But by writing a rough draft of it early, you will have a sense of focus during the essay writing process.

Last modified: Wednesday, 3 June 2020, 1:39 PM